I think my fart just growled at me.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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