i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
