he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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