Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We are two peas in an std pod
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
