it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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