We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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