i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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