The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Your penis caused this!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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