5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
