if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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