singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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