I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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