For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
