Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
