I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
