At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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