You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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