oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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