My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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