He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
