We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize