I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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