I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
