Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize