who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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