I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she looked like the before picture.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
