i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
