I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
