why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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