If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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