He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
