you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
