What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
