Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
