Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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