Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
