Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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