"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
