there was a trapeze. enough said
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
