Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
