Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
