don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
try to milk me bitch
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