U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
