Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
