Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
