I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
