Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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