i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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