i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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