The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
should my penis look like a turkey
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
