it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
