Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
