When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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