i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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