he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
