just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
