i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
