I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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