Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
