just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
