do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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