Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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