She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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