some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize