there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize