Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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